Late Start, Right Time: Becoming a Counselor at an HBCU

I was accepted into Xavier University of Louisiana’s M.S. in Clinical Mental Health program. I am on my journey to becoming a mental health counselor. I’m both excited and nervous to begin this new chapter.

I’m proud to continue my education at a historically Black institution that values community and excellence.

In my mid-thirties and switching careers, I sometimes find the little devil on my shoulder saying, "You started too late. If you had started earlier, you’d already have your doctorate." But I remind myself: it doesn’t matter when you start, as long as you finish. You can decide to start over at any age.

I believe I had some maturing to do and needed life experiences that challenged my mental health to become a better therapist. My lived experiences will enable me to connect with and support others in a meaningful way.

I begin my program in January 2025. Cheers to new beginnings!

Justice for Teachers Who Face Guilt for Leaving the Classroom

When I made the difficult decision to leave the classroom at the beginning of the school year to pursue an administrative position at a university, I was riddled with guilt and shame. My first set of students had me as their teacher since freshman year, and now they were seniors. I had told them I would stay with them throughout their high school journey.

It’s not uncommon for educators, who are often burnt out and eager for career growth, better pay, or to address personal reasons, to feel guilt when they choose to leave. However, guilt and shame are neither productive nor healthy. Teacher turnover rates are high, and my students had rarely had a teacher stay as long as I did. Here’s how I navigated this experience:

Leaving a Teaching Position: Five Tips for Managing Guilt

1. Acknowledge the Impact You’ve Made

Reflect on the positive contributions you’ve made to your students’ lives. Remind yourself that the care, knowledge, and energy you’ve invested will have a lasting impact. Great teachers leave marks that can’t just be replaced; your students have already gained so much from their time with you.

2. Focus on Your Own Well-Being

Burnout and overextension don’t serve you or your students in the long run. Taking care of your mental, physical, and emotional health enables you to bring your best to future roles, whether within education or beyond. A healthier, happier teacher makes a stronger impact.

3. Set Boundaries with Administrators

Guilt-tripping often reflects an employer’s challenges with staffing, not your personal commitment. If administrators try to make you feel responsible for issues outside your control, politely redirect the conversation back to your valid reasons for leaving.

4. Trust Your Decision

Choosing to leave is never easy, but your reasons are valid. Whether it’s about finding balance, prioritizing family, or pursuing new opportunities, your choice is an essential part of your personal and professional growth.

5. Offer a Smooth Transition Plan

Propose a plan to help the next teacher transition smoothly. This could include sharing lesson plans, student insights, or organizing resources. Knowing you’ve left things in good shape can ease feelings of guilt and show your continued care for your students’ success.

Even after leaving, I’ve found ways to stay connected to my students and their families. I still attend their ceremonies and milestones, remaining a part of their lives while prioritizing my career advancement and mental health. I’m learning that doing what’s best for myself doesn’t mean abandoning my students. If you’ve made an impact, your students and colleagues will see that.

As I went through my experience and shared my story, I realized I wasn’t alone—many other educators had faced the same struggles.

Leaving is never easy, but putting yourself first doesn’t mean you’re abandoning anyone. Embracing a new chapter in your journey benefits everyone in the long run.

There’s a need for a shift in education toward understanding teacher burnout and showing more empathy. Educators give so much of themselves, and we need spaces where their well-being is valued.

From Grief to Growth

Last year, I experienced an immense amount of grief—mourning the loss of close family members and navigating the end of two relationships, including one where I was ghosted. I grieved my old self while my mother, the matriarch of our family, battled breast and bone cancer. During this challenging time, I recognized that I was severely depressed, and I didn't yet understand that I was neurodivergent. I went through all the stages of grief and often blamed myself for not being perfect, a habit I later learned is common among people pleasers.

As I processed these losses, the relationship I was in ended, and I again blamed myself for not being able to show up as my best self. However, I now realize that everyone deserves the space to show up as they are. You deserve to show up broken, confused, and in your own time; no one should rush your healing process because healing isn’t linear. I lost myself, but I’ve learned that through darkness, there is light. As cliché as it sounds, sometimes the only way out is through. Sometimes, you have to get lost to find yourself.

Fast forward almost a year later, and I received my diagnosis for combined ADHD and Autism, among other things. I purchased my first Reiki table, and I’m on medication that has been helping with my moods. I’ve found a new job that aligns with my core values, I’m utilizing tools to manage my neurodivergent symptoms, and I created this website. I’m excited for this new journey of self-discovery. I look forward to carving out a space on the internet where individuals can feel safe, seen, and free to show up as they are—whether they are broken or thriving.